Background: From MAD Magazine Joke to C64 Game

In the mid-1980s, the German edition of MAD Magazine published a satirical article claiming that arcade video game rules were deliberately convoluted and illogical - so that players would struggle and spend more money . To illustrate this, the magazine presented a set of absurd “game rules” written in rhyming verse, parodying the over-complex instructions of arcade games. These nonsense rules described a fictitious game where nothing makes conventional sense.

In 1987, developer Frank Wienberg took this parody and turned it into a real Commodore 64 game called Fröhn . The game’s goal is to rescue Fröhn’s girlfriend (Fröhnline) by following the bizarre instructions from the joke poem. The original German text was even printed on the game’s box and shown on the title screen as a scrolling banner. What began as a MAD magazine gag thus became a “cute and bizarre puzzle/platformer” on the C64, with each nonsensical rule reinterpreted as a gameplay element.

The Original German Parody Rules

The German parody rules for “Fröhn” are written in a sing-song rhyme scheme with surreal imagery. For example, the opening lines read:

„Schütze den schönen Fröhn vor dem bösen Stöhn
durch das Knarzen der schwarzen Warzen,
die sich jedoch in tote Goten verwandeln,
falls sie nicht von den Boten mit roten Broten gefüttert werden…”
— MAD Magazine (German Edition)

Each line is packed with internal rhymes (e.g. Knarzen/Warzen, Boten/Broten) and absurd logic (feeding red bread to warts so they don’t turn into dead Goths!). The text continues in this vein, culminating in a final goal of rescuing Fröhn’s beloved after a series of ridiculous tasks.

Because the humor relies on nonsense wordplay and rhyming, a straightforward translation would fall flat. A successful translation must preserve the rhyme and whimsy, while also helping the reader appreciate the original wordplay and cultural references. Below, we present an English version of the parody rules - maintaining the rhythm and absurd style - followed by detailed notes explaining literal meanings, German puns, and cultural context.

English Parody Rules of Fröhn (MAD Magazine Style)

Protect the fair Fröhn from the evil Groan[^1]
amid the creaking of squeaking black warts,[^2]
which will however turn into Goths long dead,[^3]
if not by messengers with red loaves fed;[^4]
…unless the five-nosed Zong has already gone along
and gonged your Dong into the Pong![^5]

Snag the treasure with the cat to defeat the Watz,[^6]
so that your Fröhn can be handsome again and relax.[^1]

Use the sizzle of the lightning that frizzle-frazzles from the hand,[^7]
and ram the stamp in the temple where it stands,[^8]
so you won’t get lumps from the clubs of the owls on patrol.[^9]*

Escape the grotto on the fleet, but first make the Maw taste defeat,[^10]
from which round hounds spring with every bound and roll,[^10]
after chasing the Hottentot out with moths from the hole.[^11]

Don’t free Fröhnline with the machine until you tussle with Mother Holle[^12]
and her jolly trolls - then all ends well, your Fröhn is fine and whole![^13]*

(- English adaptation of the Fröhn “rules” poem, preserving the rhyme and nonsense style.)

Translation Notes and Cultural References (Footnotes)

[^1]: Fröhn is the hero’s name (a nonsense word chosen to rhyme with “schön”, meaning “beautiful” or “fair”). Stöhn (translated here as Groan) is the villain’s name, literally meaning “moan/groan” in German. The opening line sets up a fairy-tale style conflict: “Protect the fair Fröhn from the evil Stöhn.” This rhyme (Fröhn/Stöhn) immediately signals the absurd, tongue-in-cheek tone. In the English version, “Groan” is used to preserve the rhyme and meaning (a moaning, evil foe) for an English reader.

[^2]: “durch das Knarzen der schwarzen Warzen” - literally “through the creaking of the black warts.” Knarzen means creaking or squeaking (the game even displays “KNARZ!” as a sound effect【26†】), and Warzen are warts. In context, these “black warts” are likely strange creatures making creaky noises. The phrase has a playful internal rhyme (Knarzen/Warzen), which the translation mimics with “creaking of squeaking black warts” to retain the silly sound. (There’s no logical reason why warts should creak - this is purely absurdist humor!).

[^3]: “die sich jedoch in tote Goten verwandeln” - “which however turn into dead Goths.” Here tote Goten rhymes in German, meaning “dead Goths.” This could evoke medieval Goths (the historical tribe) or just gothic ghouls. The sudden transformation of warts into “dead Goths” if conditions aren’t met is intentionally nonsensical. We kept the phrase “Goths long dead” for rhyme and humor. (The image of dead Goths wandering an arcade game is as bizarre to an English reader as it was to Germans!).

[^4]: “falls sie nicht von den Boten mit roten Broten gefüttert werden” - literally “if they are not fed by the messengers with red breads.” This line is a tongue-twister: Boten (messengers) with roten Broten (red breads). The German text delights in the soundplay of Boten/Broten. In translation, we use “messengers with red loaves” - preserving the idea of feeding red bread to something. The rhyme is partly kept with “fed”/“red”. The absurd “messengers with red bread” suggests that only by bringing special red loaves can one prevent the warts from turning into dead Goths. (In the game, red bread actually appears as an item to collect!).

[^5]: “falls nicht schon vorher der fünfnäsige Zong deinen Dong in den Pong gegongt hat.” This mouthful contains triple rhyme and onomatopoeia: Zong, Dong, Pong and “gegongt”. The phrase means roughly “unless the five-nosed Zong has already gonged your Dong into the Pong.” These are all nonsense names chosen for sound: Zong (a creature described as five-nosed), Dong (an item you carry - in German Dong evokes a bell’s “dong” sound), and Pong (likely a receptacle, also evoking the classic game Pong). We preserved these names since they rhyme in English similarly. The verb “gonged” (gegongt) suggests hitting something so it sounds like a gong. So the Zong might smack your Dong making a “gong” sound as it flies into the Pong! The translation keeps the playful alliteration: “Zong… gonged your Dong into the Pong.” It’s a great example of the MAD Magazine style humor - sounding like it should mean something, but it’s deliberately confusing gibberish.

[^6]: “Vernichte den Watz und hole mit der Katz den Schatz” - “Destroy the Watz and, with the cat, fetch the treasure.” This line has a triple rhyme in German: Watz, Katz, Schatz (all ending in “-atz”). Schatz means treasure, Katz is dialect for Katze (cat), and Watz in some German dialects (e.g. Hessian) is a term for a boar or hog (here it’s used as a monster name). The idea is you must use a cat to get a treasure and defeat some creature called Watz. We translated Katz simply as “cat” and left “Watz” as a name (since it has no direct English equivalent - think of it as a pig-like villain). Our line “Snag the treasure with the cat to defeat the Watz” keeps the fun rhyme (cat/Watz - a slant rhyme) and the absurd image of a cat somehow helping you beat a boss. In the actual game, a cat indeed appears to help the player obtain a treasure that defeats the Watz (who throws poisonous bread at you). The final “…Fröhn can be handsome again” mirrors the original “dann wird Dein Fröhn wieder schön” (“then your Fröhn will be beautiful again”), tying back to Fröhn’s name (rhyming schön with Fröhn). It means once the Watz is defeated and the treasure recovered, all will be well.

[^7]: “Nutze den Brand der britze Blitze aus der Hand…” - this was part of the extended verse added for the game. It translates to “Use the burn of the ‘britzing' lightning from the hand…” Here britze Blitze is a playful phrase; Blitze means lightning bolts, and britze is not a standard word, but mimics the sound of “Britzeln” (sizzle/crackle). We translated it as “the sizzle of the lightning that frizzle-frazzles from the hand” to capture the zappy feeling with a rhyme (sizzle/ frizzle). In the game, a giant hand in a temple shoots lightning bolts at the player. The “burn” or “fire” of these lightning bolts must be used somehow. Our translation’s phrasing “frizzle-frazzles” is just playful alliteration to match the original’s silly britze Blitze.

[^8]: “…und rempel dort den Stempel” - “…and bump the stamp there.” Stempel means a stamp or seal, and rempeln means to bump or jostle. In context, this likely means knocking over a pillar or lever (something stamp-like) in the temple. The original rhymes Tempel with Stempel (temple/stamp). Our translation: “ram the stamp in the temple” keeps the idea and a bit of rhyme (hand/stands, temple/stands in the prior line). The reason for this rule is given as “to avoid bumps from the clubs of the owls” - in German “um keine Beulen von den Keulen der Eulen zu bekommen.” That phrase itself rhymes Beulen/Keulen/Eulen (lumps/clubs/owls). We translated it as “so you won’t get lumps from the clubs of the owls”, preserving the meaning (owls with clubs inflict bumps) if not the exact rhyme. In gameplay, there are indeed heavily-armed owls guarding a temple, swinging clubs at you! The player must activate something (lightning from the hand) and then destroy the “stamp” (a device) to stop the owls, preventing further lumps.

[^9]: Owl’s clubs causing lumps: We kept this line fairly literal for clarity. The imagery of owls with clubs (German Eulen with Keulen) is pure absurdity - typically owls are not enemies, let alone wielding clubs. This absurd vision is exactly the MAD humor at play. By following the rule (using lightning and pushing the stamp), the player avoids getting whacked by owls.

[^10]: “Entkomme der Grotte mit der Flotte, doch vernichte erst den Schlunde, aus dem runde Hunde hoppen…” - This translates to “Escape the grotto with the fleet, but first destroy the Schlunde from which round dogs hop.” Here Grotte (grotto, cave) rhymes with Flotte (fleet)[^14], and Schlunde with Hunde. Schlunde is likely a made-up monster name derived from Schlund (maw or gullet), and runde Hunde means round dogs. Yes, round dogs! The game designers actually drew bouncing, round dogs as enemies here. We translated “Schlunde” as “Maw” to convey a gaping monster or maw-like pit. So the rule becomes: “Escape the cave on the fleet, but first make the Maw taste defeat, from which round hounds spring and bound around.” We introduced a bit of rhyme with fleet/defeat and bound around to mirror the original’s patterns. The idea is you can’t escape the cave on your “fleet” (perhaps a raft or ship) until you destroy the creature that’s spitting out rotund dogs. In the actual game, the “Maw” is a beast or hole that blows out round bouncing dogs (described like bubbles with dogs). The player must eliminate it before escaping the grotto on a vehicle (the “Flotte” appears to be a raft that carries you out). The use of “fleet” in English maintains the naval imagery (a fleet of ships) used oddly in German for rhyme; it’s intentionally incongruous - one does not usually have a fleet in a cave!

[^11]: “… nachdem du den Hottentotten mit den Motten aus den Grotten verjagt hast.” - “…after you have driven the Hottentot out of the grottos with the moths.” This line piles on rhymes: Motten/Grotten/Hottentotten (moths, grottos, Hottentots). Hottentot is an old term referring to the Khoikhoi people of South Africa - here it’s used purely for its exotic sound and rhyme. (The term is now considered offensive, but in the 1980s parody context, it represented a comically obscure “tribesman” enemy). The rule suggests you unleash moths (Motten) from the caves to scare away the Hottentot. We kept the word Hottentot in translation (to preserve the original’s bizarre flavor) and translated the action clearly: “chasing the Hottentot out with moths from the hole.” The absurdity is off the charts - why would moths chase anyone out of a cave? Yet, true to form, the game features a scenario where you open a box of moths to distract a hostile character (the “Hottentot”) in the cave so you can proceed. This is a case where nonsense was given a kind of literal implementation in gameplay. (For a less culturally loaded term, one might substitute “caveman” or “tribesman”, but we annotate the original term here for accuracy.)

[^12]: Frau Holle is referenced in “mit Frau Holle und ihren tollen Trollen in die Wolle gekriegt hast.” This final challenge brings in Frau Holle, a figure from German fairy tales (also known as Mother Hulda). In the Grimm tale, Frau Holle is an old lady who, when she shakes out her feather bed, causes snow to fall in the world. She’s a benign figure in folklore, but here she’s absurdly cast as an antagonist with trolls in tow. The German phrase “sich mit jemandem in die Wolle kriegen” is an idiom meaning “to get into a fight with someone” (literally “to get each other in the wool,” like pulling hair). So the rule says you must brawl with Frau Holle and her great trolls before freeing Fröhnline. We translated “tollen Trollen” as “jolly trolls” (preserving a bit of rhyme with Holle if pronounced like “Holly”). Our line: “tussle with Mother Holle and her jolly trolls” conveys the silly confrontation. In the game’s final stage, Frau Holle indeed appears, dropping what looks like snow or feathers to impede the player, alongside troll-like enemies. The player must engage with them (avoiding the shower of feathers) and use the machine item to defeat the trolls. The cultural joke is that a kindly fairy-tale lady has become a boss fight! We chose “Mother Holle” as a familiar translation of Frau Holle, and “tussle” to echo the wool-fighting idiom.

[^13]: The conclusion “und schon geht es deinem Fröhn wieder schön!” is a cute rhyming way to say “and then your Fröhn will be fine/beautiful again.” We rendered this as “then all ends well, your Fröhn is fine and whole!” - keeping a positive, fairy-tale ending tone. It ties back to the beginning (Fröhn was “schön” - fair/beautiful - until things went awry). In other words, once you’ve done all this crazy stuff, your character Fröhn and his world will be set right again. This happy ending is as tongue-in-cheek as the rest of the rules.

As these notes show, the translation strived to maintain the rhyme, humor, and surreal imagery of the original, while clarifying the meanings. For instance, we preserved the gibberish names (Zong, Dong, Pong, Watz) and many internal rhymes, but also added small clarifications (like calling Holle “Mother Holle” and explicitly saying “lightning from the hand”) so that English readers can follow the madness. Each footnote above corresponds to a bit of German wordplay or cultural reference embedded in the parody. By reading them, one can appreciate how the German audience was meant to chuckle at the alliterations and ridiculous logic, and how we rendered those in English.

From Parody to Playable: How Fröhn’s Rules Became Gameplay

Translating the text is only half the story - astonishingly, these nonsense rules were used as a blueprint for real game design. The C64 game Fröhn (1987) is a multi-screen puzzle-platformer where every bizarre instruction from the poem is turned into an objective or obstacle. Understanding how the gibberish maps to gameplay is both fun and useful for would-be homage makers:

  • “Protect the fair Fröhn from the evil Groan…” - You control Fröhn, a blue creature, presumably keeping him safe from enemies (the “evil Groan” could be interpreted as the final antagonist or just the overall evil). There is indeed a dark, cawing figure on the title screen which might represent Stöhn/Groan, but in gameplay the threats are many (owls, trolls, etc.). The key is that Fröhn has a love interest (Fröhnline) who has been captured, so protecting/rescuing is the goal.

  • Black Warts and Dead Goths, fed by Red Bread: On the first level (screen), black blob-like creatures (the “warts”) spawn or turn into “dead Goths” (skeleton-like enemies) if not placated. Red loaves of bread grow on a tree here. The player must collect these red breads and deliver them to a certain spot (via a “messenger”) to prevent or reduce the enemy spawn - literally enacting “feed red loaves to prevent Warts becoming Goths.” The game’s scoring term “Energy” actually increases as you gather bread (reaching 50,000 points was needed) to enable the next event. If a Wart turns into a Goth, you can destroy it by throwing your Dong at it, but that costs some energy, reinforcing the idea that it’s better to feed the warts in the first place.

  • Zong gongs the Dong into the Pong: In the second screen, there is a creature (presumably the five-nosed Zong) with a club. You must drop your carried item “Dong” (a gong-like object) from a platform so that the Zong hits it with his club like a gong, launching it into a receptacle - the Pong. This literally follows the rule “the Zong gongs your Dong into the Pong.” Achieving this requires that you had enough red bread delivered, because only if the messenger brought enough loaves will the Dong fly far enough when struck. Successfully doing this triggers a transformation: the “gray woman” blocking your way turns into a “blue sow” (a pig)! This matches the poem’s implication that after the Dong is ponged, a gray lady becomes a blue sow (the game added that detail). The blue sow then wanders off - in-game you can push this pig and it falls into a pit, becoming a platform so you can cross. It’s a direct literalization of the nonsensical text.

  • “Get the treasure with the cat and defeat the Watz”: In the next area, you face the Watz, a boar-like enemy who throws deadly red breads at you. There’s a treasure chest high up, and a black cat that eventually appears. According to the rules, the cat is key to getting the treasure and defeating Watz. Indeed, in the game you must wait for the cat to climb to the chest; when it reaches the treasure, it starts knocking money bags out of it! The player must catch these falling bags of loot. Each bag collected and dropped at a certain point (on the Dong acting as a pedestal) removes some of the Watz’s treasure. Once you’ve collected enough sacks, the treasure chest is empty - at which point the Watz is defeated (he apparently gives up when his loot is gone). This clever sequence turns “the cat gets the treasure and you destroy the Watz” into an actual puzzle. The rule’s rhyme didn’t explain how, but the game designers figured it out: greed is the Watz’s weakness!

  • Lightning, Owls, and the Temple: Next comes a temple scene with owls wielding clubs (exactly as the poem described “Keulen der Eulen”). There’s a flashing platform or seal (the Stempel) in the temple. The player must set the Dong on that flashing spot. Doing so causes a giant hand in a cloud to appear and start shooting lightning bolts (“britzing Blitze aus der Hand” in the poem) across the screen. Now it truly feels like a mythic quest! The lightning can kill the owls, but new owls periodically drop from the sky (the game’s absurd logic). Each owl you zap increases your energy (score). You need to defeat enough owls to max out your energy meter. Once powered up, you can destroy the Stempel (stamp device) using the Dong, which stops the hand and lightning and prevents any more owls from attacking. This completes the instruction to “use lightning from the hand and ram the stamp, to avoid lumps from the owls' clubs.” After this, you can exit the temple safely.

  • The Grotto, Moths and the Maw: Following the temple, Fröhn descends into a cave (grotto). Here the tasks line up with the wildest lines of the poem. First, you find a closed chest - opening it releases a swarm of moths (items that flutter about). A hostile native character - depicted as a spear-throwing man (the “Hottentot”) - is in the grotto. When the moths are released, they distract the Hottentot, causing him to stop attacking for a short while and eventually flee (just as the rule said: you chase the Hottentot out of the grotto with moths!). This gives the player time to deal with the next hazard: the “round dogs”. Out of a chasm or pipe (the monster Schlunde, which looks like a big vent or mouth) come bouncing round creatures - they look like round dogs or furry balls. The player must descend and throw the Dong at these round dogs to eliminate each one. You have to keep it up until no more come out and the Schlunde stops “spitting” bubbles. Once the source is silenced, you can pick up the special item in that area: the machine (likely a chainsaw or cutting device, given the next part). Before leaving, you also knock down a stalactite so it plugs the hole, permanently destroying the Maw (Schlunde). Now, with the Maw defeated and the Hottentot driven off, you jump on the “Flotte”, which in-game is a small raft or platform (it looks like a little boat, humorously referred to as a “fleet”). This raft carries Fröhn out of the cave - exactly “escape the grotto with the fleet.” The designers managed to incorporate every element: moths, Hottentot, round dogs, a maw, and a raft, all in one level’s puzzle sequence!

  • Confronting Frau Holle and Freeing Fröhnline: The final screen features Fröhnline, the damsel, locked in a cage at the top of the screen. To free her, the poem said you must first brawl with Frau Holle and her trolls. Indeed, at the bottom of this level, trolls are roaming. Overhead, Frau Holle appears in a window, dumping what seems to be fluffy feathers or snow that fall downward (a nod to the fairy tale where she makes it snow by shaking her featherbed). Touching these falling flakes likely harms or hinders the player, so it’s an environmental hazard. The player’s goal is twofold: deal with the trolls and navigate past Frau Holle’s barrage. This plays out as follows: you time your moves to jump over the trolls (possibly using mushroom platforms that bounce you, as hinted by some descriptions). You then climb up a series of platforms toward Frau Holle. By getting close to her, you cause her to move away from her position (she switches sides when you approach, as per the solution text). This allows you to pass the area where feathers were falling. Now you can retrieve the machine (the same one from the grotto, if you hadn’t already picked it up, or maybe you left it and must grab it here). Using the machine (perhaps a saw or weapon), you “make the trolls short work” - essentially defeat all the trolls on the lower level. Finally, you climb all the way up (avoiding another flurry of feathers on the way) to reach Fröhnline’s cage at the top. You use the machine to saw open the cage, and Fröhnline is rescued!🎉 At this point, “deinem Fröhn geht es wieder schön” - your Fröhn is happy again. The ending presumably shows Fröhnline freed, concluding the game. You have successfully followed all the “rules” of this ridiculous quest.

As this breakdown shows, the developers were remarkably faithful to the parody rules - every stanza of the poem corresponds to a stage or challenge in the game. They essentially designed puzzles around nonsense, which is a testament to their creativity. The game Fröhn is remembered for this reason: it’s not just a platformer, but a puzzle adventure where the clues to progress are hidden in a ludicrous poem. Players at the time, if they recognized the MAD Magazine joke, would have been in on the comedy. Even if not, they had to decipher the meaning of these quirky instructions to beat each level.

For example, a contemporary description explains that in Fröhn you must “feed red loaves to a creature and then put your Donk in a machine which turns the woman who blocks progress into a sow”, and later “catch bags of money while avoiding poisonous loaves of bread to defeat the… cat”, and so on - essentially echoing the parody rules. What was written as a joke was playable as a straightforward (if very strange) sequence of tasks.

Conclusion: Tips for Translating Parody and Designing Homages

Translating a parody like Fröhn’s rules is a balancing act between literal meaning and artistic style. Here are some takeaways for translators and game designers inspired by such texts:

  • Preserve the Spirit Over the Letter: The primary goal was to keep the humorous tone, rhyme scheme, and absurdity intact. In translation, we sometimes sacrificed a direct literal word-for-word rendering to achieve a similar comedic effect. This is often necessary in parody translations - the joke is more important than strict accuracy. For instance, we kept whimsical alliterations (“sizzle… frizzle-frazzle”) and rhymes, because those carry the playful spirit of the original.

  • Use Footnotes or Commentary for Clarity: We provided literal meanings and cultural notes in footnotes so that an English reader can appreciate the nuances (e.g. why Frau Holle appears, or that Watz hints at a boar). This approach lets the main text be fun and readable, while still educating the curious about the underlying references. When translating parody, don’t be afraid to explain the joke - especially if it involves local culture or untranslatable puns - outside the main text.

  • Leverage Similar Sounds: When the original uses nonsense words for humor (like Zong, Dong, Pong), a translator can often keep them as-is. These made-up terms usually have no real meaning even in the source language, so they can be transplanted or slightly modified for rhyme. We kept almost all such terms, and the result feels just as surreal in English as in German. In some cases, find English words that mimic the pun - e.g. turning Stöhn into Groan preserves both meaning and rhyme.

  • Maintain Rhythm and Rhyme: The German text had a clear rhythmic, rhyming structure that parodied rulebook or fairy-tale language. We used a similar meter and rhyme scheme so that the English version reads like a poem or a set of whimsical instructions. This was crucial to deliver the same comedic punch. When someone reads the English version aloud, it should sound a bit like a Dr. Seuss-style or nursery rhyme gone wrong - just as the German one does to its readers.

  • From Text to Game - Embrace Creativity: For game designers, Fröhn is a case study in turning absurd ideas into gameplay. If you plan to make a homage or a game inspired by a parody text, identify the key nouns and actions in the nonsense. The original developers asked, “How can we represent red bread, black warts, or a five-nosed Zong in a game?” They then crafted levels around those elements. The result was a playable spoof that still worked as a game. So, when designing, don’t shy away from literal interpretations of silly descriptions - those can become unique game mechanics. Moths that scare a Hottentot, or owls dropping from the sky, make for memorable puzzles once you commit to them fully.

  • Retain Humor in Gameplay: A homage game should retain the tongue-in-cheek tone. Fröhn the game constantly scrolls humorous nonsense text on-screen (reminding you of the “rules”), and it never explains itself too seriously. The fun for the player is partly in the WTF factor of the world. A modern homage could do likewise: use the parody text as narration or tool-tips, and let players discover the quirky logic.

Translating and localizing Fröhn’s parody rules was a unique challenge that required linguistic creativity and cultural sensitivity. By maintaining the rhymes and whimsical style, while annotating the cultural jokes (from fairy tale allusions to archaic terms), we aimed to make the English version as entertaining and puzzling as the German original. Whether you’re a translator tackling absurd humor, or a developer making a parody game, Fröhn demonstrates the value of thinking outside the box - sometimes the silliest ideas make for the most engaging experiences. Enjoy the absurd adventure, and may your Fröhn forever remain schön!